That's the Sound of My Heart Breaking
Rumor has it that my beloved Mr. Depp might finally marry his long-time girlfriend (and baby mama to his two kids, Jack and Lily Rose), Vanessa Paradis. Let's all take a moment to truly embrace the beauty of this woman. Now let's take another moment to collectively moan, "WHY, GOD, WHY?"*

*If you prefer not to call Johnny 'God,' I'm comfortable with you substituting his actual name into this lament.