Donna Martin Procreates!
According to various sources, the original virgin herself, Donna Martin, is pregnant. I'm so thrilled for Donna and her husband of six years, David Silver. They've been through thick and thin, those two - drug abuse, affairs, deer rescue, David's rap obsession, Donna's various hair styles and colors. Congratulations to these two adorable kids from the world's most famous zip code.

Okay, seriously, Tori's supposedly pregnant. Supposedly for real this time. Supposedly. But I like my fantasy better. Chant with me now: Donna Martin procreates! Donna Martin procreates!