I Bet You Katie's Hiding Suri in Her Kangaroo Pouch Dress...

Everyone keeps talking about the mysterious lack of Suri-ness. There was the Vanity Fair photo spread and then... back to her real biological family I'm sure.

Or wait, I think I have solved the mystery!! Katie's fugly dress ATE HER! She's been mistakenly sown up into the folds of this god-awful creation! Maybe Tom is up there, too... conniving and planning his next bad movie and shameful publicity stunt, which probably involves a couch, Matt Lauer, Katie's uncanny ability to only smile with the tip of her tongue on her teeth, and an ultrasound machine. Just a guess.

Come on, now, I am just being glib. GLIB.